School Bullying Stopped: Don't Be Fooled by the Smoke Screen!

School Bullying Stopped: Don't Be Fooled by the Smoke Screen! ByPaula McCoach http://www.bullyzapper.com

School bullies are manipulators.

They are masters at confusing students as well as adults.

But with these masters of manipulation, we must always look atthe big picture!

Hardcore bullies will often try to confuse the issue when beingconfronted with their bullying behavior. They will blame theirvictim for the incident that happened between them. They willbring up small transgressions that the victim may have made andtry to make them seem huge.

For example, maybe the victim told them to "Shut Up" and thehardcore bully will make this seem like a huge insult the him orher when in reality the hardcore bully has threatened or cursedat the victim, and the victim was just trying to defend himselfor herself.

This Smoke Screen technique is one of the hardcore bullies mostsuccessful deflecting attempts because it is easy for schoolstaff to get caught up in the details of the incident at hand.And, the hardcore bullies are experts at throwing up the smokescreen.

But through much success and failure at working to resolve thebullying situation, I force myself to look at the big picturewith the hardcore bully and not be deflected by the smoke screen.

In other words, I look at the overall pattern and large numberincidents the hardcore bully has participated in vs. the smallnumber of incidents the victim has been involved in - if any. Idon't give the bully a clean slate in every incident - I believethe best way to stop bullying is to deal with it on a cumulativelevel - not each incident individually.

Hardcore bullies are experts at throwing up a smoke screen andmaking a "mountain out of a molehill" when they have beenwronged but minimizing any wrong that they may have done toanother student. But, now you will be able to see through the"haze."

Paula McCoach invites you to subscribe to the Bully ZapperNewsletter published weekly with tons of tips on how toeffectively deal with bullies in elementary and middle school.You will receive a free special report for your subscription. Tosubscribe, go to http://www.bullyzapper.com

Purchase the latest Bully Zapper publication, 11 SIMPLE STEPS TOZAPPING BULLIES! Discover tips on working with the bully as wellas the victim, talking to parents effectively, using behaviorchecklists with success, enabling teachers to deal with bulliesin their classrooms, and much more practical and usefulinformation you can use immediately to Zap the Bullies in yourschool! To order, go to http://www.bullyzapper.com

©2005 Permission granted to reprint this article in print or onyour web site so long as the paragraph above is included andcontact information is provided to the emailcoach@bullyzapper.com and http://www.bullyzapper.com